Fat Bottomed Girls

A Fat Positive site, focusing on women who are fat and not ashamed of it.

Monday, May 05, 2003

Just a note before the real entry. Baby powder and keyboards? Not a good combination. My niece decided my keyboard needed powder and now the damn thing is driving me insane.

Okay, now to the real stuff.

Ever since I started to become fat, I've heard "Fat girls/women/teenagers shouldn't wear things like that. Fat women should dress in dark, sedate colors. Fat women should not wear bright colors. Fat women should cover their skin."

I hate those words. I do. For years I wore black, nothing but black. Do you know how boring that is? I would look at the bright red shirts and dresses and sigh. I would see a bold patterned dress and walk away from it.

I was too fat to wear those clothes. Even when I was just a small plus size, I stayed with the black, the blah.

Until a few years ago. I realized that no matter the color I wore, I was fat. Wearing all black might make me look 5 pounds thinner. Woopty do! A whopping five pounds of my massive frame.

I was following the lock step society mode. When I was a young teenager I didn't. I dressed in my own weird way and people had no choice but to deal with it. But as my weight grew I lost my confidence.

Until my Senior year of high school. In looking for a formal dress (which is another story entirely) I couldn't find anything at all that I like in a sedate color. I gave up and give in to my desires.

A bright red dress became mine. I wore it proudly. The compliments I got were astouding. They were the first compliments I had on my clothing in years. Here I was, 18, fat, in bright red and had people telling me how beautiful I looked.

I was floored. Shocked, amazed. And out of the all black box. At first I stuck with just black and red (okay, those two colors are a mainstay in my wardrobe still, but there are a lot more colors now.)

I have lime green shirts, red capri pants. A dress with flames on the skirt. T-shirts with actual designs on them. Silly stuff, wild stuff. Stuff that is much more me, than any of those drab fat girl clothes I stuck with.

I'll show skin now. Cleavage, some leg, hell, I even own a bathing suit. I'm not ashamed of my body anymore. It's mine, it's big, but damnit, I only get one of them, I'm going to enjoy it.

I'll wear leopard print (which I adore.) I'll buy that wild fabric and make dresses out of it. I dress to suit the person on the inside. Last week it was solidified for me even more, when my husband told me "One of the reasons I love you is that you'll wear the silly dresses, that others won't and not worry about what other people think."

That right there made me proud. Yes, some of my dresses, no one else would wear. I don't know many people who would wear a dress with a black top and a skirt made out of fabric printed with small orange/white/yellow candy corn. I will. I love Halloween, it's the one holiday I have special clothes for, I will wear it.

And the flame dress I mentioned? it's another black top, but with a skirt of bright red, with orange and yellow flames. It's one of my very favorite articles of clothing.

It's me, in all my fat self. I just wish more fat women would dress how they truly wanted to. Not all fat women want to wear clothing that covers every inch of flesh, I know that. You know that.

I know many women, hell, a lot of thin women, who refuse to wear shorts. Their legs are "too fat." Says who? Why the hell suffer in the heat of summer in long pants, solely because of what others think?

I live in VA, the summers are hot, humid and fucking brutal at times. I will wear shorts, you don't like my fat, don't look.

I'm tired of hiding, and I won't do it anymore.

Friday, May 02, 2003

I'm back :D

Another day of fat bashing at Metafilter.com. From this link, I've posted the following rant:

Someone please explain to me how the anorexic is different from the morbidly obese.

I am 'morbidly obese.' There I've said it. And I'm sure I'm not the only one here at MeFi who is. I am fat, I have been that way for since I was 15, prior to that I was barely chubby.

I have a disease. Polycystic Ovarion Syndrome. I eat less than most people on an average day. I dieted myself into the hospital as a chubby 12 year old. I was diagnosed with malnutrition and starvation and I was still FAT!

I'm always going to be fat, no matter what I eat. But my blood pressure is fantastic, my cholesterol is wonderful, my heart is kick ass, and I am not diabetic.

What I am is fat. Plain and simple. My fat isn't costing you a damn dime as I do not have any of the supposed 'fat' health issues.

I am also not lazy prior to becoming disabled (which, by the way, has nothing to do with fat, but is a story for another day) I worked in an Nursing Home. I was lifting 250 pound + people on a daily basis, on my feet for 8-16 hours a day, walking on average 5 miles a day for my job.

I also went dancing 3 nights a week and worked out 4 days a week. I was still FAT!

Some of us just are fat, it has nothing to do with what we eat. I dare say I eat better than the vast majority of people here at MeFi.

And you know what? You don't like my fat? Don't look at me. Turn your head, your neck works. Do not disparage me soley because I don't fit society's ideal of a thin, tall, blond with enourmous breasts. I'm short, fat, wild haired with a little grey in there, I'm in a wheelchair on or on a cane. To my husband of almost five years, I'm fucking gorgeous. And when it comes down to it, he is the only one that matters.

If you search at Google for Fat Bottomed Girls, my fat positive site (sorely neglected due to real life) comes up on the first page. I'm tired of ignorant people who have the metabolism of a 6 year old hyperactive child on speed telling me how I should feel about myself.

Fuck that shit. Children torment one another over looks. Why do adults do that? It's ridiculous, completely ridiculous that every time something like this is posted to MeFi that the fat bashers come out in hordes.