Back and in full effect.

I'm doing much better, finally of of all meds. I still have to take it easy and keep a watch on my legs, but, that's nothing compared to the entirety of the proceedings.

Since the date of my first doctor's appointment, this has been brewing in my brain.

Now, remember, I was going to a new doctor, solely because of the red, hot, painful area on my lower left leg. When the doctor first came in, he jumped right on the standard bandwagon of "You need to have gastric bypass."

Yep, I'm in there for something with my legs (something that was bad enough to hospitalize me the next day) and he immediately jumped on my weight as the reason for it.

Because you know, being fat causes you to get an infection. He barely looked at my legs, prescribed antibiotics, then decided he needed to run a full course of bloodwork. Because, once again, all fat people are walking timebombs.

They did every standard blood test. Blood counts, cholesterol, blood sugar, liver enzymes, kidney, etc. The whole works.

You know what? Every damn thing was fine. My cholesterol is good, blood sugar is fine, on and on. I'm a healthy fat chick. Even with being a disabled, cyster (polycystic ovarion syndrome), FAT, woman, I'm pretty fucking healthy.

Yet, he still wants to send me to a surgeon to have my gut sliced open and the majority of my stomach cordoned off, then reroute stuff so my intestines don't process all my food.

All of this (which has a high risk of death during surgery and a shortened lifespan) solely because I don't fit the ideal woman image in the worlds' eyes.

Needless to say, he will not remain my doctor. I was too stunned to say anything during the visit. But, now that I'm feeling better I will be speaking my mind to him.

I'm going in full guns with my information on GBS. I'm also going to ask him why he would recommend surgery before he even knew if I had any comorbidities? Which I don't have.

Which means, most surgeons would not even perform this on me, and my insurance wouldn't cover it. It would be a cosmetic style operation.

Yeah, I'm going risk death just so I can weigh less.

And they wonder why I don't go for PCOS treatment? Why I don't see a doctor for my disability? I go without pain meds for my back, because of this. And no, degenerative disc disease is not caused by being fat. Losing weight will not stop its progress. Losing weight will not stop the PCOS.

I even discussed GBS with a doctor re: PCOS. He doesn't recommend it for PCOS sufferers because in some cases it won't help you lose weight. PCOS causes you to gain weight in many cases, no matter how little you eat.

But, again, I should risk death, for a surgery that might not even work. Because only then will I be worthy of taking space on this planet. You know, fat people are only actually human if they are trying to be a thin person.

I hope you all have a wonderful day. I'm off to look for a doctor who won't see only my fat, but see me, the person.

My legs are looking better and better. It looks like I will have some scarring, but, I can deal with that. The nurse came in today and changed the dressing on the picc line.

It's pink and irritated and possibly heading for an infection, which is beyond me. I'm on scary amounts of antibiotics, how anything could get infected is beyond me. If the infection gets worse, I'll be going back in the hospital, any spare good thoughts y'all have would be mightily appreciated.

I'm still not spending much time online, as typing hurts. I'll keep y'all up to date on my progress.

Also, I promise once typing is no longer painful, I will email everyone, right now I just can not do it for long, and typing one handed just doesn't work.

Thanks again for the thoughts, prayers, emails, cards, and flowers :D

Have a good day.

For those of you who don't read my other blog, a quick update on me.

I was hospitalized earlier this week for cellulitis in my legs. It's a severe infection caused by one of those lovely superbugs. I'm home now, with a picc line in my arm, still on massive antibiotics. Updates here will be sporadic for the next 10 days, but, I will be back.

If you want to keep up to date on me, you can join my notify list: send an email to suzyramble-subscribe@topica.com